I was watching Iron man with my sister and some of her friends (Good movie by the way)when I was struck with a broken heart. For those of you who know me you know that I don't cry during movies, only babies cry during movies, psh babies. Which is why I was shocked at myself for tearing up and a part. No, not when I thought he was going to die and never be with whats-her-face again. Instead I found God breaking my heart for when terrorists took a father from his family, and with his children watching, were about to kill him. Yes, I know its just a movie, and yes, I'm aware I just called myself a baby, thank you. But my heart was breaking for many different reasons. First, the mear thought that this is actually happening. That should break your heart too. Yeah it was a movie, got it. But they didn't just imagine up that scenario. Right now a little boy can honestly say that he watched terrorists shoot his father. Heart broken. But God didn't stop there which is a good thing since that would have only lasted about 2.5 seconds in my little brain. Second he made me realize that no one else's heart was breaking. We are so desensitized to killing and destruction. It makes me think of Monsters Inc. when the manager says "Kids are just getting so hard to scare now-a-days" thus their power shortage (for those of you who don't remember). No one's heart was breaking like mine. I'm not saying they should have all been crying nor saying they should post a blog admitting they almost cried during Iron man. But I immediatly couldn't believe this was happening. I was crushed I felt God's pain for His people, trust me its alot. I felt that little boy's pain. Then I thought of the mother and other child. Crazy. And the part only took about 5 seconds before the man was saved. His little boy ran up to him and cried while his father held him in his shaking arms. They whispered to each other didn't let go.
God's been breaking my heart for alot of things in the past month. Although He has told me this summer is not when He wants me to go to China, everyday He makes me want to go more. I've recently learned about the sex tourism industry that about 56,000 American men support. If you don't know any thing about this I encourage you to look it up and do research. They take girls ageing from 5-25 and exploit them. As if taking a 5 year old girl isn't enough to break your heart already, there's more. These girls take on average ten clients a night. And here we are in America having meaningless sex?! HA! Ten clients a night. I can't get over that. If the girl has a baby they have to put it under the bed while they take a client. Think of what that baby is growing up with?! Not only does it break my heart but it disgusts me. God did NOT mean for sex to be used like this. Our sinful nature and sinful choices have made it like this. Another fact that I can't even image how its possible is that on average these girls could have 11 abortions a year. Not only is that a tramatic process (I don't even want to think about how they abort babies in those brothels!), but dangerous to the woman's body. I can't stand that. God is purposly bringing it up again and again in my life. When I go to sleep at night He reminds me that right now a young girl is being exploited. I'm not sure if you're crying but I am. (Baby, I know!).
Like I said God told me no China this summer but every single day He brings new things to absolutly break my heart like His is breaking. I've always been really scared about going to China or any new country really. Mostly because I might not like the food and mostly because I don't know the language. But those things mean nothing anymore. I want to go to these places and show these girls and children this thing called love that they don't even know about. No one shows them love, no one cares about them. I have learned about the grace God has given to me and He is pulling my heart telling me there is no reason I should be doing nothing when there are so many who need everything.
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